5 Reasons Why Our Children Stopped Dreaming
Do your children talk about their dreams?
The person they want to be?
The kind of adventures they want to take?
The places they want to explore?
We all want our children to set their own goals, and dare the impossible. Which parent doesn’t? But there seems to be something off about today’s younger generation. They seem to be unmotivated and distracted, because of the following reasons that we must pay close attention to before it is too late:
#1 The Lack Of White Space
The dings of our mobile phones, the music, and the internet have absolutely robbed our children of having a quiet space in their minds to ponder… to think… to dig deeper into themselves. They cannot reflect long enough about their desires—what they want and don’t want.
Teaching them how to listen to themselves, and how to focus their attention to the dreams buried within their hearts has become an impossible task. Moments of silence or “boredom,” as the young ones would call it, are now seen as something bad… when in reality, they are golden opportunities to give birth to our greatest ideas and creations.
Why do we put so much effort in entertaining our children, so they wouldn’t feel bored? What are so afraid of?
#2 The Lack Of Strong Examples
The painful truth here is, we have nobody else to blame but ourselves. We passed this mindset on to them as we stopped dreaming too, as we hang onto our own damaging beliefs and suffer with stress from our day-to-day grind.
We are in the midst of fighting our own mental battles, so how can we give our children the ability to dream when we do not even fully possess it? I’m sure you will agree with this… that it is difficult to confidently tell them to chase their dreams, when deep inside you feel inadequate and resentful at times.
#3 The Lack Of Independence
We drown our children’s dreams as we push them towards almost every direction. Imagine this—we drive them to four soccer trainings or ballet classes per week, pressure them to act all prim and proper on play dates during the weekends, then make sure they do their homework every night, all while accomplishing an endless list of household chores and many other extra activities.
As we design them to become everything an “ideal child” the world dictates them to be, we are stealing their chance to direct their own lives. In many cases, we hold our them back from pursuing the things they want because we grab the steering wheel and tell them, “Here, this is what’s good for you.”
We go beyond than just kill their dreams… we plant self-doubt into their minds.
#4 The Limiting Words We Use
You may not be aware of it, but your children’s limiting beliefs may have grown from what you say around them. Most of the time, we are not so mindful about the power of words—how they create beliefs and impact our future. We tolerate unhealthy language that limit our own dreams, as well as our children’s.
Statements such as: “That’s too hard” or “I’m just no good at this” actually breed a negative mindset within our children. Always remember that our chosen words become the compass of their lives. Those words transform into beliefs through repetition, so the more they hear these limiting words at home, the less desire they have to dream.
#5 The Wrong Belief About Mistakes
Mistakes are seen as bad. In school, our children are punished or deprived of incentives when they fall short. And in our communities, they receive criticism and lose friendships, instead of encouragement to make better choices.
We say that it is through our mistakes that we learn and grow into a more refined version of ourselves. So when did they become so bad? If they contribute to our personal development, shouldn’t they be viewed as otherwise? And since when did perfect become the measure of awesome?
Another thing… How you respond to failure becomes your children’s attitude in the future. When they see us being hard on ourselves, they form the false belief that they must criticize themselves for their mistakes.
Teach Them How To Dream
As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children how to dream. They will learn some of it from schools, and from other people around them… But ultimately, we are their biggest influence. What can we do to get them started? Here are several tips to help you out:
Create a language that is encouraging, not limiting.
Make dreaming a part of your daily norm.
Learn the skill of dreaming so you can use it and model it for them effectively.
Create a vision board for your children.
Cultivate meaningful conversations that encourage them to talk about their dreams.
Go on a date with your child, then bring a journal with you so can write your dreams together.
Join our online mindset training, where you can learn the specific steps in goal setting.
Unless you are dreaming, you are dying a slow death… That is the hard truth, which is why dreaming is a vital skill to instill in our children during this lifetime. They have to know how to believe and set goals, and you must also give them the freedom to dream without having to deal with criticism. Let’s raise a bolder, braver, and bigger generation—a generation of dreamers!